And I never will be. I'm not a hater of ankle biters. I don't mind them if they can hold back wailing at the top of their lungs non-stop in public places and as long as they didn't pop out of me. I'd rather have a dog. A French bulldog.
But I unknowingly bought some maternity wear for myself yesterday! And I thought I've seen modern preggers fashion - things that make you look normal even when a huge bowling-ball-in-a-bag is attached to the front of you - in all its guises! With pals like Mrs Bunny and Mommy Noinoi already members of the Yummy Mummy club.
They were on a rack at a tiny designers' warehouse sale, next to racks of clothes for "regular" people by other local labels like Cohen et Sabine, Shona Joy, Shakuhachi and Bowie. You, too, wouldn't have thought these Mishka'n'Milka pieces were for ladies-with-child if you were me. I didn't know until I Googled them when I got home.
When I picked up this Cheek To Cheek Cape in poppy red, I thought, "Oooh, a floaty lightweight cape for Spring/Summer." Concealing milk-laden breasts and protruding tummy didn't even cross my mind.
The cute paperbag waist should have been a dead giveaway but everyone wears them nowadays - pregnant of not.
Would I have bought them if I had known they were made for mummies-to-be? Hell yeah! Why stop at raiding the kiddies' and men's department?